On being "That Kid"
If you catch me on a good day, I'll tell you the whole story and the punch line, which is that my memoirs will be called "Puking in cars with boys: A lifetime of chronic illness".
I was always "that kid".
Reproductive Justice & Fact-Checking in the 21st Century
It has been one weird year for reproductive justice in this country. DAMN.
I really didn’t plan to blog about this. Honest. But I’ve been ranting about it on Twitter for so long and two anti-choice sites/groups called me out by name so here I am.
Let’s finally get the story straight, mmkay?
[TRIGGER WARNING: This post discusses sexual violence. Please exercise self-care.]
Working in this sector means I end up being the 'Dear Abby' of my social circle. I don't mind; it comes with the territory.
But a friend approached me with a story recently that has really resonated with this concept I've been trying to get across in more and more of my public education work. The idea of community accountability. (*For the record, I am by no means claiming to be the inventor of 'community accountability', both as a title, concept or approach to this work. This is just my attempt to flesh out what it looks like in my own work.]
Here's the story.
How I will live my life once we've ended rape culture
“But if rape culture was dismantled, you’d be out of a job, no?” He said slyly with a clear “AHA!” twinkle in his eye. You know, that moment where someone thinks they’ve painted you into a corner and now have to confess to all your wrongdoings. Those moments where you’re locked in a battle with someone who is in no way invested in the answer but just wants to walk away feeling like they “gotcha”.
A variation of this happens to me fairly often, both off and online.
It’s born from the idea that because I am paid to be a public educator against sexual violence, I am invested in the upholding of rape culture. If you’re into capitalism, I suppose it’s an easy conclusion to draw.
But it has clearly never occurred to people that I loathe most parts of my job. Doing prevention work with receptive audiences? I’ll happily do that all day every day. But the other 95% of my day job? Eff that.
Supporting womyn who have been incredibly traumatized? Hate it.
Making the same statements over and over and over again and being heard less than 50% of the time? Hate it.
Working 70 hours a week and getting paid an absurdly low wage for 40 hours of that work? Hate it.
Because MRAs, anti-feminists and general smartasses think they’ve got this in the bag, here it is:
What I Will Do Once We Dismantle Rape Culture